We’ve talked previously about how to assess if our child’s tech use is healthy, but what now? What can we do if it’s not healthy? 

A healthy, loving response should have three parts: 

1. Set healthful boundaries. 

There is a big difference between accountability and control. Healthful boundaries help hold ourselves and our children accountable and teach the “why” of healthy choices. These boundaries allow us to teach our children to:

• stick with their commitments because as believers in Christ our yes needs to be yes, and our no needs to be no (Matthew 5:37). 

• experience the full enjoyment of life God provides for us. We are reminded that giving up unhealthy tech to get more of God’s will for us is like selling everything we have to buy a field filled with treasure—it’s not an even trade. The ultimate joy and fulfillment is found only in knowing God. 

• sleep because it impacts their learning, attitudes, and opportunities. Sleep is a resource we must steward well, especially in developing minds, brains, and bodies.

• be emotionally healthy, which will require the faithful discipline of doing all of the previously mentioned actions. 

• realize their time is not their own. There is no “free time” in life, there is only borrowed time—we have been bought with a price and our lives our not our own. Our choice isn’t between our time and God’s time, but whether we will use the time we’re given to God’s will and glory or our own.

This makes technology just another teachable moment rather than a battle of wills that we must win. Boundaries must always include consequences written together and agreed to as a family. This means parents will abide by tech rules as well. Building a family tech framework is a wonderful way to get that conversation started. If you’d like more on this conversation you can listen to this episode of the podcast! 

2. Remove the unhealthy tech

When expectations aren’t met, take away the offending activity. This isn’t punishment, it’s actually a key part of loving accountability. Jesus doesn’t mince words when it comes to sin:

“And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire.” (Mathew 18:8)

That device, app, game, band, show may feel really important—but nothing is worth keeping if it causes us to walk away from who God has called us to be. 

So what does remove look like for your situation?

Maybe you instal parental controls, or take a break from the offending tech for a month, or maybe even completely cut off/gouge out a specific tech. The point is that we prayerfully and intentionally tech problems as a symptom of a greater heart issue. Don’t believe for a minute that taking a smart phone away will make anyone a “good” person, but it certainly can make it harder to make certain mistakes. Our children will eventually make their own choices with tech, and we want them setup for success. If you want more info on how to remove unhealthy tech, check out this episode of the podcast.

3. Replace with analog adventures

Find the most exciting, engaging, and relational activities and opportunities to participate in instead of the removed tech. We call these Analog Adventures, and the more engaged in relationships, the better.

So rather than telling our children “Go play outside” we can setup activities that are exciting, engaging, and build opportunities they never would get if they remained passive in their pursuit of fun. Whatever we choose to do, the new activities need to line up with their God-given gifts, interests, and passions. You also need to make sure it fits with the season of life you’re going through. So schedule some time to talk it out, make sure you have the space and resources to make it happen, and dive in to opportunities God has given to use your talents for His glory! 

If you’d like more on Analog adventures we’ve done several podcasts on the subject. This episode walks through how to remove unhealthy tech, and it’s companion episode talks through how to replace with analog adventures. We also compiled some helpful resources in finding great books and boardgames!

Want more resources?

If you’d like more discussion on RESET check out the Gospel Tech Podcast:

• S.3, Ep.19 – How do I know if my tech use is healthy?
• S.3, Ep.14 – The second conversation every parent must have with their child.
• S.3, Ep. 8 – The difference between tech accountability and control

pc: Photo by Kimson Doan on Unsplash