What should I do with this body that SHOULD want good things, but doesn’t? Let’s just take my chocolate chip cookies for example. I know I should want healthy food, fuel for the fire, stuff that’ll help me reach my fitness goals, but in reality sometimes all I want is sugar. And butter. And to eat my feelings.

That’s really a picture of how we are spiritually isn’t it? Paul talks about this in Romans 7. He says:

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…” (v. 15)

then he follows it up with a cry that I can definitely relate to:

“Wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death?” (v. 24)

The answer: The finished work of Jesus! We repent, ask for the faith to believe, and set our minds on what God has done – not what we fail to do.

Salvation is a one-time regeneration (Heb. 7:25), we’re made new creations (2 Cor. 5:17), but there is this aspect of leaking that is all-to-real. Yes, I’m made new, but my heart still wanders. Yes, I have power by the Spirit over the flesh and victory in Jesus’ name, but there are real times when I simply don’t WANT to win. I feel like losing. So now what?

There’s a reason Jesus teaches us to pray “Give us today our daily bread…” (Matt. 6:11) We leak, and we need to be refilled – regularly. Daily, at least. Depending on the season maybe it’s hourly – I had one of those days last week. My day went by in 15 minute increments where I got a choice – would I choose to trust God and ask for his help, or would I simply go about my day on my own strength and energy?

I SHOULD want to say “I’ll follow Jesus”, but the truth is sometimes I just don’t want to. I want to do things my way – I want my will to be done, not God’s. And when I’m in this place one of the main places I’ll see my defiance, my leaking, is my tech. I’ll escape to it rather than pray. I’ll tell myself “I deserve a study break” and watch a show instead of making space to think and listen. I will have the audacity to ask God why he’s distant and silent when I’ve piled up the clutter of life as a barricade against his loving kindness.

So what do I do when I leak – when I don’t want to do the right thing? I call out to my redeemer, the author and perfecter of my faith (Heb. 12:2), and I set my minds on the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:6). There is faith, the act of calling on God instead of myself, and spiritual discipline – the practice of putting my faith into action.

It’s not perfect, it’s not pretty, but it’s what Jesus made available to us – so when we leak we can be refilled by the Spirit of God, so that when we leak the Rivers of Living Water will flow out of us (John 7:38).

pc: Photo by Morning Brew on Unsplash